Metal Shark Player

Whatever the hell I want to write

Review: Flix Mix

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Do you like chocolate? Do you like peanut butter? Well it doesn’t fucking matter because, unless you also like feces and highway robbery, this candy sucks.

I was at the movies with my family when I saw Flix Mix, a unfamiliar box among many tried and true favorites. It advertised itself as “Rice Crisps Drenched in Real Milk Chocolate & Peanut Butter, then Dusted with Powdered Sugar!” (shout-outs to capitalization). Why not give it a shot? Well, because a box of candy at the movies costs four dollars. That’s eggs, sausage, home-fries, two pieces of toast, and a coffee at East-Windsor Deli, or cheesy fiesta potatoes, a bean burrito, small baja blast and a caramel apple empanada at Taco Bell.  So it’s kind of a big deal.

I bought it anyway. What a fucking mistake! This candy sucks dicks. They are chex covered in a thin, greasy layer of peanut butter and chocolate. The flavor of the coating is so dull that the knock-off chex dominates. Additionally, the coating doesn’t seep through the holes in the chex very far, leaving big air pocket’s in the middle of each piece. This means that every bite is a rediscovery of how much smaller each piece is than it appears. It also means that you paid four dollars for about a quarter of the box’s volume of candy. Shitty candy. I wouldn’t pay 50 cents for it.

At least Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy was good. Really fucking good. Go see it, and be ready to fucking pay attention and think, cause that shit will not hold your hand.


Written by metalsharkplayer

January 22, 2012 at 12:38 am

Posted in Reviews

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